If
you suspect that your mate has been lying to you, it’s time to do
something about it.
So
you're suspicious about your partner, you've got this nagging feeling
in the pit of your stomach that your partner may be cheating on you,
or maybe lying to you about some other important matter, and you are
desperate to know the truth.... but are you like most others in this
situation, making the same big mistake and screwing up your chances
to know the truth, by confronting your mate with your emotions
running hot, and no real proof?
Or, maybe you're the type of person
who is afraid to face the truth and would rather go on with life and
suffer the injustice and humiliation of being cheated on, or lied to
by your loved one.
Here
are the best ways to find out if the person you trusted with all your
heart has been pulling the wool over your eyes! Catch your lying mate
by following the tips mentioned below:
1. Make them feel safe:
1. Make them feel safe:
First
and foremost do not confront your mate with your suspicions while
your emotions are running hot, and especially if you do not have any
real proof that they are cheating, or have been lying to you about
something.
Because
without any real proof to tie your spouse down, all you will end up
achieving is to have alerted them about your suspicions. And the
result of that is, they will end up covering their tracks better and
concoct better excuses and alibis...
You
might just be wrong! ...so
if your first reaction is to start accusing or confronting them you
will end up ruining your relationship with your suspicious mind.
If
you are willing to forgive and forget, and want to save the
relationship, then stay calm, use tact and try to have a heart to
heart talk with your mate and get him/her to open-up and confess.
2.
Bring
their guard down:
Don’t
make them feel like there will be serious consequences or
repercussions if they confess the truth to you. So, don’t
interrogate, and don’t threaten them. You could pretend that you
have some information and proof that your mate has lied to you and
you are willing to produce it if necessary, but be careful that your
mate does not suspect that you are trying to catch him/her. Be
cordial, remember you are trying to get them drop their guard and
open up to you.
A
sure way to find out if they are lying is to ask them to clear up a
certain doubt you have. If he/she is lying, then most probably they
will stammer, stutter and mumble a response. Their sentences will be
full of nonsensical words like uhmmm, "er. ah, etc" that
will show that he/she is buying time and trying to find a plausible
excuse.
3.
Thank
them for the truth:
If
your mate finally opens up to you and confesses that they have been
unfaithful, or have been lying to you, be sure to thank them for
their honesty. If they assure you that this is the end of their
cheating or lying, and you accept their apology, then Forgive and
forget, or seek professional counseling if necessary, if you both
want to salvage the relationship.
A
lying mate can easily break your heart if the problem is not nipped
in the bud. If the lies have destroyed all hopes of going on
together, then it is better to end the relationship and move on to a
new beginning with a trustworthy partner!
A
lying mate will not maintain eye contact with you as there is no way
he/she will look you in the eye, knowing that he/she is cheating on
you.
The
best possible way to catch your cheating spouse is to keep a record
of names, places and dates your mate has said he/she was out on
business, lunch, trips, etc. You could check
with these names and find out if it were really true.
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